How to overcome loneliness

Loneliness has been an issue these days, as there are fewer opportunities to dine out and meet people in order to avoid close contact for the corona.

Celebrities commit suicide one after another, and each time a mental health expert says "I want you to consult with somebody." According to the guidelines of the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, press reports on suicide should contain information on the consultation hotlines.

This information would be useful, but ideally the situation shouldn't be as serious as a formal consultation.

I have lived alone for over 30 years, have never been married, and am no longer a member of a corporate organization. That is, I have these three conditions for loneliness, but I don't really feel lonely.

I would like to discuss the reason, the essence of loneliness, and how to eliminate loneliness in my own way.

1) I'm used to living alone

Perhaps the most lonely feeling comes soon after your loved one is gone. If you don't have a loved one near you in the first place, you are adapted to such an environment.

Both of my parents had worked and been extremely busy ever since I can remember, so none of them rarely came to attend nursery events or pick me up at the bus stop. That is called neglect now, but for this reason I spent time reading magazines and books alone and hanging out with like-minded friends whenever I wanted. As I have been used to this lifestyle for such a long time, it feels strange to have people around all the time.

2) Not many people are in the same position　

The mental health expert mentioned above says, "No one is lonely," but the people who can understand each other are in the same position. Classmates, mom friends, colleagues, etc. Therefore, if the number of people in the same position is small, they will be lonely.

In the case of Sayaka Kanda, few people have such big parents, and it is quite rare for their child to succeed. In essence she would have been lonely.

3) Utilize commercialism

In such a case, you should not take loneliness as a big lump, but use services that you need specifically. If you are a paying customer, the service provider will respect your time and keep their promises and provide you with a comfortable time.

The combination of a husband who works full-time and a housewife is basically the same as the relationship between a customer and a service provider. A full-time housewife is a live-in domestic worker + nurse + hostess, which is why beautiful and sweet (= having high skills to please men) women are valuable and have good customers (= high-income husbands.)

If you compare this with travel, marriage is similar to a package tour with a tour conductor. Singles can take their own tickets, book a hotel and apply for an optional tour.

Recently, there is girlfriend rental business, for example. If you think that may be too direct, and want just to talk and vent gas for the time being, online English conversation also helps you brush up your English and it is three birds with one stone. Even though it is difficult to complain about your workplace or boss before co-workers, you can do that in front of the teacher as an English speaking practice as much as you like.

If you ask the Silver Human Resources Center (NGO that hires retired professionals) to take care of your garden, a veteran gardener will come to you at a low price.

The advantage of these methods is that they solve problems more efficiently than consulting with family and friends. 

For example, if you are thinking of changing jobs or becoming independent, the people around you will recommend a safe choice for the time being. This is because human beings cannot understand each other unless they are in the same position, and there is a bias that they want people close to them to stay in a position similar to theirs. This will move you away from your original hope.

If you are lonely, you can go straight to the experts in each field without being bound by such an invisible chain.

Whether it's Christmas or New Year, it doesn't have to be very special. Of course, you can worship the sunrise on New Year's Day, but you can see the beautiful sunrise whenever the weather is nice. Even if it's not a Christmas cake or New Year special foods, you can always buy delicious sweets and delicatessen if you go to the basement of the department store (although you need to be careful about diabetes.)