How to overcome loneliness

Loneliness has been an issue these days, as there are fewer opportunities to dine out and meet people in order to avoid close contact for the corona.

Celebrities commit suicide one after another, and each time a mental health expert says "I want you to consult with somebody." According to the guidelines of the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, press reports on suicide should contain information on the consultation hotlines.

This information would be useful, but ideally the situation shouldn't be as serious as a formal consultation.

I have lived alone for over 30 years, have never been married, and am no longer a member of a corporate organization. That is, I have these three conditions for loneliness, but I don't really feel lonely.

I would like to discuss the reason, the essence of loneliness, and how to eliminate loneliness in my own way.

1) I'm used to living alone

Perhaps the most lonely feeling comes soon after your loved one is gone. If you don't have a loved one near you in the first place, you are adapted to such an environment.

Both of my parents had worked and been extremely busy ever since I can remember, so none of them rarely came to attend nursery events or pick me up at the bus stop. That is called neglect now, but for this reason I spent time reading magazines and books alone and hanging out with like-minded friends whenever I wanted. As I have been used to this lifestyle for such a long time, it feels strange to have people around all the time.

2) Not many people are in the same position　

The mental health expert mentioned above says, "No one is lonely," but the people who can understand each other are in the same position. Classmates, mom friends, colleagues, etc. Therefore, if the number of people in the same position is small, they will be lonely.

In the case of Sayaka Kanda, few people have such big parents, and it is quite rare for their child to succeed. In essence she would have been lonely.

3) Utilize commercialism

In such a case, you should not take loneliness as a big lump, but use services that you need specifically. If you are a paying customer, the service provider will respect your time and keep their promises and provide you with a comfortable time.

The combination of a husband who works full-time and a housewife is basically the same as the relationship between a customer and a service provider. A full-time housewife is a live-in domestic worker + nurse + hostess, which is why beautiful and sweet (= having high skills to please men) women are valuable and have good customers (= high-income husbands.)

If you compare this with travel, marriage is similar to a package tour with a tour conductor. Singles can take their own tickets, book a hotel and apply for an optional tour.

Recently, there is girlfriend rental business, for example. If you think that may be too direct, and want just to talk and vent gas for the time being, online English conversation also helps you brush up your English and it is three birds with one stone. Even though it is difficult to complain about your workplace or boss before co-workers, you can do that in front of the teacher as an English speaking practice as much as you like.

If you ask the Silver Human Resources Center (NGO that hires retired professionals) to take care of your garden, a veteran gardener will come to you at a low price.

The advantage of these methods is that they solve problems more efficiently than consulting with family and friends. 

For example, if you are thinking of changing jobs or becoming independent, the people around you will recommend a safe choice for the time being. This is because human beings cannot understand each other unless they are in the same position, and there is a bias that they want people close to them to stay in a position similar to theirs. This will move you away from your original hope.

If you are lonely, you can go straight to the experts in each field without being bound by such an invisible chain.

Whether it's Christmas or New Year, it doesn't have to be very special. Of course, you can worship the sunrise on New Year's Day, but you can see the beautiful sunrise whenever the weather is nice. Even if it's not a Christmas cake or New Year special foods, you can always buy delicious sweets and delicatessen if you go to the basement of the department store (although you need to be careful about diabetes.)

Year-end annual press conference by President Putin

The annual press conference by Russian President Putin was held recently.

As reporters awaited at a social distance, he appeared on stage of a large venue that was more empty than usual. His chest was broad and dignified, and he had a calm and sharp look. He looked ageless and not at all his actual age of 69, as if his aging process had stopped at some point.

This year's press conference did not have his speech at the beginning, and he immediately started with a question and answer session which lasted for four hours as usual. It is foolish to compare, but it was the exact opposite of the "press conference" by Mr. and Mrs. Komuro, which had only the opening remarks. Theirs was more similar to an elementary school graduation ceremony; it was just a childish and one-sided comment.

Putin is not very tall at 170 cm, but his judo-trained body is beautiful. In a position like his, he probably often eats full-course meals, but he doesn't have any flab at all.

Maintaining a beautiful body is the first condition of intelligence. I have to say that fat men are stupid and arrogant, no matter how well educated they are. I can't believe the lack of awareness of the illnesses caused by obesity and the shameless sense of exposing an ugly fat body in front of a partner.

Young men who only study and work lack muscles and look like a bean sprout. This is a type that is often found among Japanese bureaucrats and office workers. Many have a serious and mild-mannered personality, but because of this body shape, they don't look sexy.

Government agencies and large corporations, regardless of nationality, are command hierarchies, and staff are eunuch officials who have been mentally castrated and lost their own will. For this reason, I am not attracted to them, which makes it easier to work with them.

Mr. Putin is in sharp contrast with these people. In addition to having physical beauty, which is the first condition of intelligence, he shows keen intelligence in every aspect. All he has at the press conference is a notepad to write down the questions and some data, and he remembers all the ideas needed to answer them.

When I talked to a Russian government official, she said the entire government prepares for this year-end press conference. President Putin digests the material and answers each question with persuasive power. He is the only one on stage, and he never asks staff for help.

He looks much smarter than the recent U.S. presidents. Is that why America tries to pick a fight with Russia?

It's a complete delusion, but I would love to date President Putin once. Rather than talking about current affairs and political issues, I would like to feel his aura while having a casual conversation about his everyday life, such as the state of his Akita Inu dog.

The truth about Sayaka Kanda's suicide

Everything was revealed in the Bunshun Weekly newsmagazine on Wednesday evening. Sayaka Kanda committed suicide, leaving two suicide notes.

From the contents of the notes and surrounding circumstances, the direct causes were 1) the relationship with the actor whom she was co-starring with; and 2) the feeling of despair about the results of the medical examination regarding throat illness. 

In addition, she was being treated for mental illness due to neglect she suffered in childhood and the fierce bullying she received in junior high school.

For the past seven years, she had been isolated from her mother Seiko Matsuda. It was Sayaka who was angry at Seiko's actions over their management firm and broke ties with her. The reason why Seiko did not attend Sayaka's wedding was that Sayaka did not even answer Seiko's phone. If you read the article, you can understand the circumstances and Sayaka's feelings.

It seems that these factors had accumulated and exceeded Sayaka's limit.

Regarding 1), it seems that she was desperate to get married, which is often seen in women in their mid-30s for fear of late childbearing. She approached the man aggressively, and he was overwhelmed and acted irresponsibly. In normal circumstances, it would be a waste of time to deal with such a man, but she probably had a narrow view.

Regarding the neglect she suffered in childhood, the repeated scandals concerning her mother have been widely reported in the press, but her father Masaki Kanda was also playing around. I think it's a matter of personal choice, but I feel that this kind of attitude has a great negative impact on children, and that a person who seeks an unstrained life and affairs should not become a parent.

Probably because they understand this, they said "I'm very sorry" at the beginning of the press conference.

As an analogy, athlete Tsuyoshi Shinjo seems to be free-spirited and popular with women, but that's why he chose to divorce his wife and have no children, and enjoy a single life. I think this is the attitude of a responsible adult.

In any case, couldn't Sayaka somehow have prevented suicide? I wish she could have gotten off the stage and concentrated on illness treatment and rest for the time being. The unfortunate childhood and bullying cannot be changed, but what to do in the future can be changed.

She may have felt pressured to succeed socially under her big parents. But frankly speaking, she would have received a legacy from them in the future and would not be in financial trouble for the rest of her life. It would have been okay just to play or do whatever she likes, and it's much better than committing suicide.

Anyway, Bunshun's ability to discover the truth in such a short period of time is amazing. I feel sorry for her and her parents, but I don't think there will be any subsequent suicides based on pointless assumptions, thanks to this informative and valuable report. 

Sayaka Kanda's premature death

When I woke up after falling asleep last night and looked at my smartphone, I found that Sayaka Kanda had fallen from a hotel in Sapporo and was seriously injured. This was another painful news story after the recent arson attack in Osaka. Because of that I became totally awake, and when I checked again after a while, she had been pronounced dead.

Oh no...she was only 35 years old and had fallen off the upper floor of the hotel where she was staying for a musical show that she was starring in. I carefully read articles in all the newspapers and comments on the Internet, and learned that there was a possibility of both suicide or an accidental death.

There was also a comment from a person who had the experience of being sucked out as soon as the window was opened, in part because of the structure of the window and the condition of the outside air. The person felt that if this had happened to a smaller person, the entire body of the person could have sucked out of thehis window.

Meanwhile, just before her death, Sayaka made a congratulatory call to her father Masaki Kanda for his birthday on 21 December. I'm not sure why it was three days before his birthday, but she might have wanted to hear his voice before leaving this world.

Sayaka's mother Seiko Matsuda had broken up with her former heartthrob Hiromi Go and married Masaki Kanda. She gave birth to Sayaka in 1986. At that time I was in my second year of university and had a very busy life.

This childbirth felt like the end of an era.

At that time, it was the norm for female entertainers to marry a fellow entertainer they met at work and retire. After giving birth, they disappeared from the centre stage and concentrated on housework and childcare. Typical examples are Momoe Yamaguchi and Hidemi Ishikawa.

I had assumed that Seiko Matsuda would also follow this pattern. However, she has continued to be visible for her scandals, private life, advancement to the United States, songwriting, etc. Even now she wears frilly costumes and does covers of her own old songs, and has the momentum to continue to be an idol for the rest of her life. In a good way, my expectations have not been met, and I have been rejuvenated by her success.

When Sayaka was born, I was almost an adult, and I still remember her as a baby. I don't know what happened, but Seiko would never have thought that her daughter would die early at the age of 35. I feel sorry for her and gloomy.

A trip to enjoy autumn in Kansai (1) "Yes, let's go to Kyoto"

 　In Japan these days, the infection rate has calmed down, but this is what I have learned from nearly two years of Covid and life in general so far:

1) Suddenly you can't do what you normally did (travel, meal gathering.)

2) It is very rare to have time, money, and good health simultaneously.

3) Freedom comes with loneliness.

　As a result of solving this simultaneous equation, I made a trip to Kansai (Western Japan) as a celebration event of my birthday. The concept was to do everything I had wanted to do lately.

　Due to the route of the Shinkansen (bullet train), the first destination was Kyoto, in all of its autumn colors. I joined Facebook's related group and checked posts for the latest local information. However, everywhere was great and I couldn't decide. The situation of autumn leaves was different depending on the location within Kyoto, such as urban areas near the station, the north or the south.

　As a possible destination, I considered Komyoji Temple in Nagaokakyo based on the area size where maples grow, the special exhibition in autumn, and the reasonable admission fee. 

  This is the temple used for the location of the JR Central's (Central Japan Railway Company) TV commercial "Yes, let's go to Kyoto." However, the website on autumn leaves information said it was "beginning to color" according to the data four days before. On the other hand, Toji Temple near Kyoto Station was in "the best time to see" period.

Autumn leaves of Toji were in their final stages

　So I first checked the situation at Toji. It was a short walk from the Hachijo exit (south side) of Kyoto Station. There was a long queue at the taxi stand in front of the station.

　Admission fee is 800 yen ($8.) School trips and group guests were there, but it was not so crowded. Autumn leaves were closer to the end rather than "the best time to see." Many leaves were dry and had curly tips, and leaves of some trees had completely fallen.

　Even so, the garden in harmony with the five-storied pagoda and pine trees was beautiful, and it felt like Kyoto as the traditional capital.

　If this is the "best time to see" as of four days before, the "beginning of coloring" at the same time may be fine. So I had a quick lunch at a set-meal restaurant near Kyoto Station and headed to Komyoji.

　I took the JR Kyoto Line for 10 minutes, got off at Nagaokakyo, and then took the local bus for 20 minutes. Since the temples in Kyoto are scattered over a large area, the number of temples that can be visited in a day is limited. If possible, it is best to stay for about a week and enjoy the autumn colors in each quarter, but of course the accommodation costs will increase and the luggage such as spare clothes will become larger.

　It's less than two hours from Shin-Yokohama to Kyoto, and it's not that far, so it's good to look forward to another opportunity to visit.

Autumn leaves of Komyoji had a special beauty

　Komyoji was built in 1198. There are 500 maples in the large precincts, and they are open to the public during the autumn leaves season (November 13th to December 5th this year.) Admission fee is 1,000 yen ($10.) The number of visitors was small probably because it was a weekday, and there were only Kansai dialect speaking groups and couples.

　Some trees were in full autumn colors, depending on the location.

  The special exhibition included fusuma (sliding door) paintings from the Kyoto Imperial Palace (photography was prohibited.) There was also a self-portrait of Emperor Kameyama in 1264, which is the original picture from 757 years ago. It was really old and dark, but you could see the facial expression and atmosphere. According to the staff, they have re-mounted the picture on new cloth many times.

　Around the exhibition of these paintings, you can see the quintessential scenery of Kyoto.

　The biggest climax was the "maple approach," which is a tunnel of maples. While the green leaves still remained, all the colors such as yellow, orange, and red overlapped. If I compared this scenery with human life, it would be the maturity stage of late 30s to 40s. The lush midsummer had passed, but the climax was yet to come.

　As the 150-year-old trees-lined road continues, I looked up, stared far away, and looked back, and it felt like forever. The thoughtful and sophisticated sense of the landscaper who worked on this beautiful garden shines through, and you can feel the essence of the city that had lasted for a thousand years as the nation's capital. Regarding Japanese culture, I think the word "jokyo" (meaning "visit the capital") still means going to Kyoto.

　Not everything was bright red, but there were still only few fallen leaves, and it was an especially beautiful time when the autumn colors would soon be at their peak.